The tree

Tales from an Army wife’s first deployment….Installation 2

Continuing Preparation----A much more light-hearted entry…..

In my quest to be “Super Army Wife,” I’ve taken on a daunting project….Normally it disgusts me to see how early the stores put out Christmas, yes CHRISTMAS, not holiday, decorations. This year, however, I am foaming at the mouth for them to get out, as I have decided to decorate our new home for Christmas for Mike before he leaves in mid-November. No, no one asked for me to do this, sometimes my ambition ends up getting the best of me. (If you ask my mother, I get that attribute from my father) Nevertheless, my plan is simple. A new, taller tree, to go with our new, taller ceiling. A new color scheme, balls, ribbon, tree topper, etc all in the very “in the now” blue and brown theme. (Or, in this case, dark teal and bronze) That will also involve new wreath trimmings, some new mantle décor, now that we have a mantle, and some other odds and ends throughout the house. Like I said, very simple….yes, I hear the laughter, too, not to worry.
So far, I’ve called a Christmas tree farmer, who, when I explained my situation, was more than happy to open early just for me to come get a tree. I’ve begun scouring my favorite stores, Kirklands, Homegoods, TJMaxx, all of who are slowly beginning to trickle in their décor for Christmas.

A slightly easier task…..last year, I came up with an idea. My husband is one of the worlds’ biggest Star Wars geeks. He doesn’t dress up or anything, but he knows every line in every movie, and you can even choose a track on any soundtrack from any movie and not only does he know which movie it’s from, he can begin reciting that particular scene, right then and there. This makes for interesting long car trips, and he can beat the pants off anyone in a game of Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. I decided to commemorate his love of all things Star Wars, by making his very own Star Wars Christmas tree. He’s collected several ornaments over time and displays them proudly with his Star Wars posters in his home office. Last year after Christmas, I went to Walmart and bought a 4 foot, white pre-lit tree for $10. Done. I have the ornaments, and it’s already lit, so the last thing I needed was a topper. While at Party City looking for Halloween invitations, and, yes, I DID scour to see what they had in for Christmas, I found a Darth Vader mask for $4.99. Some black wired ribbon from Walmart, and Boom! Instant tree. Yeah…..

The baby is finally asleep, now I can “use the Force” and get on with this project….I figure, it’s a while before Christmas, but these guys are black and scary, so this could easily serve as a Halloween decoration of sorts, as well as enable Mike to enjoy his tree before he leaves. So, I climbed up into the attic to retrieve said tree. Man it was hot up there! I joyfully descended the ladder, closed up and headed for the kitchen to get the rest of my supplies. I bought some floral wire to attach the mask and in case I needed to make hooks for the ornaments. Scissors in hand, I headed in to his office and placed the tree on top of his file cabinet. Obviously, some “little” people would LOVE to get their hands on Darth Vader’s face and I really didn’t want baby slobber on my handiwork, so up high was definitely the way to go. I plugged in the lights to make sure they worked, and voila, the illuminated slate was ready to be filled! First things first, the mask on the top! Wait! Where is my wire? As most of you who have small children know, while they are napping, time is of the essence, so I became frantic when I couldn’t remember where I’d set the wire down. I ran from room to room. I even looked in the garage, thinking maybe I’d laid it down before opening the attic. No sign of it. I even climbed back up into the hot abyss, that is the attic. Was it there? NO! AAAhh!!! The baby could wake at any moment, and where in the hell is that wire???? I quickly opened the pantry and downed a handful of Halloween colored M &Ms, as if somehow, the chocolate would restore my memory. Then, while chomping down on the chocolatey goodness, that I pray my 8 mile run tomorrow will burn off, I noticed the Walmart bag filled with my daughter’s new socks and pants. Aha! I never took the wire out of the shopping bag! Maybe chocolate does restore memory…..I raced on…..
Next, I cut the black ribbon into three pieces and carefully tucked them in to the sides of the tree branches. Time for the ornaments. I guess you could call this a “Mike’s favorite things” tree. Albeit mostly Star Wars, there’s a random Godzilla, and also a University of Florida football player ornament, all things he loves. Done! As I stand back, I notice I should move the ornaments around, a bit, just so they are even. Note to self: Never step into a swivel office chair to fix a Christmas tree. I accidentally spun around, on one foot, mind you, in this chair. Fortunately, I grabbed the bookshelf and kept myself from falling. Meanwhile, Sasha, the dog, who’d been following me around this whole time just stared up at me blankly. She wasn’t even worried. I wasn’t so much concerned about getting hurt, but I knew that if I did fall, the crash would wake the baby sleeping across the hall. Whew ! Good save! So, Darth and Godzilla are looking a bit too symmetrical…..Darth needs to scoot down a bit.
Me:”Okay, Darth. Sorry buddy, but were gonna have to scooch you down a bit…”
Darth: Breathing through his helmet, “Argh! But I have the force!”
Me:”That’s great, honey, but I’m going to have to FORCE your ass down a couple branches so this will look right.”
There! No more out of Darth, and the tree looks perfect! Now to wait for Mike to get home..