My first official entry of tales...

Tales from an Army Wife’s First Deployment

Disclaimer: For anyone reading this who knows me well, or is in my same situation: Yes, I fear for the worst, yes, I’m a drama queen, yes, I make mountains out of molehills, and yes, I know these things about myself. However, writing is my therap, my optimum way of expressing myself: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the over-dramatized. And so I begin…
Preparation:

A wise, beautiful woman, who is 5 months ahead of me in this particular journey, and so incredibly dear to me once said, “This will go by faster than you think. The worst part is the ‘getting ready for it.’ “ God, I hope Maggie Brown is right……

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years now. I have known about this deployment, or the possibility for it, for that long. We spent 2 years at Fort Rucker, home of Army Aviation, he completing flight school there, me working, giving birth to our first child, and knowing all the while in the back of my mind that these days were coming.

Now that we are settled in our beautiful new home in Savannah, Georgia, the clock ticks loudly in my ear. The “Big Ben” countdown to the dreaded…….’Deployment.’ Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah was our first choice, obviously because both sets of parents live in Georgia and it would be “the best thing for me while he’s gone.” We are overjoyed to be here. There is also the opportunity here for me to go back to school and get a second degree. I already know a few people here, too. I’m worlds ahead of many wives who are here, as far as friends, family and knowing my way around. All these things are great, but “While he’s gone” is still the shadow, the operative phrase, here. Seasoned Army wives deal with this much better than me, I’m sure. I’m a strong type-A person, I know what I want in life, I have to stay busy and stressed out to function properly….so is my nature, with or without my husband deployed. However, this is new and scary, and no matter how independent I am, and how determined I am, my emotions still get the best of me sometimes……hence, I write. I discovered this quirky trait/talent about myself at age 8 and have been writing when emotions strike me ever since. I am 34 years old now.

When we first arrived here, Mike was on leave so he was home with us, unpacking, hanging pictures, getting settled. He’s been signed in at Hunter for about 5 weeks now. A couple weeks ago, I went to my first ever Family Deployment Briefing. Mike stayed home with the baby. I watched the typical government power point presentation, however, this one began to hit home. These weren’t slides about plans for preparation of a 4th of July Fireworks event, which I worked with in my former government job, these were slides of what my husband’s home would look like for one year……on the other side of the world in the cold, cruel mountains of one of the most dangerous places in the world right now……Afghanistan. We’ve all heard “Iraq, Iraq’ for several years now. After understanding the difference in the two places, I honestly never thought I would wish my husband were going to Iraq, instead. This brief also told the families the route and procedure for our soldiers’ departure, how we could communicate with them while they are gone, and when they could come home for 15 days of Rest and Relaxation. As I sat through the second meeting last night, with Mike, we were told of all the resources we would have for our children, since we’d be ‘single parents’ for a year. Financial resources, community services….etc. We will truly be taken care of, if we allow ourselves to be. We were also advised to get our budgets together, wills, Powers of Attorney, life insurance, all of which I knew….just hitting home, now. The girl sitting next to me told me this was the 3rd deployment she’d been through. I thought to myself, “ Wow, you’ve actually sat here and lived this more than once?” Once again, I know with anything, once you’ve done it once, it’s a little easier the next time. I also know I’m not the only woman in the world who this has happened to, but I’m also ME, and I deal with things differently, I guess.

A few days later, the packing list came home. Now, I’ve been talking with some other wives, so I knew about what they had to buy, etc. I tackled the list with zeal, buying him 2 of everything listed, so he would have a good supply for a while, until he figured out what the PX had there….I aspired to be “Super Army Packing Wife.” What I didn’t know was how I would feel when he unloaded the gear…..the extreme cold weather polar fleece long underwear, knit tops with ACU (Army Combat Uniform) sleeves, kevlar gloves, things I’d never seen before and some, I had no idea what they would do with. However, this was clothing and gear for some seriously dangerous terrain, weather and situations. As I carefully swished the kevlar gloves in a sink full of detergent and water, as they had to be hand washed, I couldn’t help but think of my husband’s beautiful hands having to be inside gloves that were made of bullet/fragment-deflecting material. The huge, puffy gray ‘snowsuit’ I called it, was so thick I joked that he couldn’t fit inside the cockpit if he flew wearing it. But inside, I couldn’t help but think of the high altitude and how incredibly cold it must be there for him to have to wear it.
Then, there’s that damned “tuff box.” It’s a huge box that they pack their sheets, towels, books, anything they want shipped over early. He bought the box last night, and packed all the things I’d washed for him. He closed it, locked it and set it in our foyer so he could take it this morning to go on the boat. I, of course, was up several times during the night, either with the baby or just couldn’t sleep. Each time I walked past the box, it ‘stared’ at me, seemed to be taunting me, sticking out it’s figurative tongue and mocking me with feelings of doom and loneliness. How could an inanimate object ‘speak’ to you like that? And, no, this time I hadn’t had too much wine….I just answered that question on my own. When one has an active imagination like myself……My father always said I “conjured things in my mind”…I think he’s right.
I have so many things to ask my husband, we have so many things to attend to, the ‘business’ of deployment, if you will. I left the briefing last night with a million things on my mind. My husband is an intelligent, responsible man, who cares greatly about the well-being of his family, and we plan to carve out some time to deal with all these things, but until they are dealt with, my mind will continue to whir in overdrive…..listen closely, can you hear it?