Tales…entry 4
Post party…
So, I hosted a party this afternoon for Mike’s co-workers…….Alpha company. I haven’t met many people he works with and I wanted to open our home to them, and get to know the guys and their families. These are the men he will live with and interact with for one year, on the other side of the world, when we can’t see him everyday. These are the men he will go on missions with, eat with, amuse himself with, and share about home with. And, these are the women and children, who will be here with us, praying the same prayers we will pray, everyday….. for 365 days.
The party was a success. The food was great, the kids got along, and I enjoyed talking to not only the wives, but the men who would be joining my husband in the mountains of Afghanistan in just a few short weeks. I enjoyed sharing with their children, and the laughter they brought to my own child. I knew, deep down, she would laugh a lot with these same children over the coming months.
After everyone left, it was just me, Mike, and our best buddy Mike Shoup, who was in town for the weekend, visiting. Elizabeth was spent and ready for bed, so we assumed our usual bedtime ritual, which consisted of turning the lights down low, bringing the milk in, and curling up on our big bed, until she fell asleep. Since she loves books so much, bringing a book in for sleepytime is out of the question, as she would get excited at the pictures and turning the pages. So, having a great memory serves advantageous for me, as I curl up, spoon-like, with her and ‘tell’ her stories. Our favorite is “Where the Wild Things Are.” Or, as I like to refer to it, as “Let’s talk about Max….” And so I began talking about Max and his wolf suit….
At that moment, Mike quietly slipped in…..he wanted to tell Elizabeth goodnight. So, he lay down on the bed, and as I ‘told’ the story, I would stop, and he would say a line, then I would, and we would repeat the process. It was a simple, loving exchange to our daughter of how we’d both memorized the book, and we both wanted her to know that we knew the story and wanted her to hear it from us as she drifted to sleep with both her parents right beside her. When the story was over, Mike left the room so she could get good and sleepy..she cried a bit, as she does when he leaves the room, but I snuggled closer to her, reassured her that she was okay, and she quieted. As we lay there in the darkness, I, too, began to silently cry…for many reasons. I cried for happiness…for the love of this child, for the love of her father. I wept for the sorrow of her being separated from him so soon from now, and I wept for the loneliness that we would feel when we both laid on this same bed, in the same darkness, and her father would be on the other side of the world.
A wise, seasoned wife at my party today said that as Army Wives, we have to just “pick up” and deal with things ourselves in this life. She’s right in so many ways. When I was sure Elizabeth was asleep enough, I picked up my sleeping daughter, and transferred her to her bed, tucked her in for the night. I then, dried my tears, picked up my wine glass, and re-joined the guys in the living room…..picked up the visit where I left off……..pick it up and keep going…..there will be plenty of time for
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
My first official entry of tales...
Tales from an Army Wife’s First Deployment
Disclaimer: For anyone reading this who knows me well, or is in my same situation: Yes, I fear for the worst, yes, I’m a drama queen, yes, I make mountains out of molehills, and yes, I know these things about myself. However, writing is my therap, my optimum way of expressing myself: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the over-dramatized. And so I begin…
Preparation:
A wise, beautiful woman, who is 5 months ahead of me in this particular journey, and so incredibly dear to me once said, “This will go by faster than you think. The worst part is the ‘getting ready for it.’ “ God, I hope Maggie Brown is right……
My husband and I have been married for over 2 years now. I have known about this deployment, or the possibility for it, for that long. We spent 2 years at Fort Rucker, home of Army Aviation, he completing flight school there, me working, giving birth to our first child, and knowing all the while in the back of my mind that these days were coming.
Now that we are settled in our beautiful new home in Savannah, Georgia, the clock ticks loudly in my ear. The “Big Ben” countdown to the dreaded…….’Deployment.’ Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah was our first choice, obviously because both sets of parents live in Georgia and it would be “the best thing for me while he’s gone.” We are overjoyed to be here. There is also the opportunity here for me to go back to school and get a second degree. I already know a few people here, too. I’m worlds ahead of many wives who are here, as far as friends, family and knowing my way around. All these things are great, but “While he’s gone” is still the shadow, the operative phrase, here. Seasoned Army wives deal with this much better than me, I’m sure. I’m a strong type-A person, I know what I want in life, I have to stay busy and stressed out to function properly….so is my nature, with or without my husband deployed. However, this is new and scary, and no matter how independent I am, and how determined I am, my emotions still get the best of me sometimes……hence, I write. I discovered this quirky trait/talent about myself at age 8 and have been writing when emotions strike me ever since. I am 34 years old now.
When we first arrived here, Mike was on leave so he was home with us, unpacking, hanging pictures, getting settled. He’s been signed in at Hunter for about 5 weeks now. A couple weeks ago, I went to my first ever Family Deployment Briefing. Mike stayed home with the baby. I watched the typical government power point presentation, however, this one began to hit home. These weren’t slides about plans for preparation of a 4th of July Fireworks event, which I worked with in my former government job, these were slides of what my husband’s home would look like for one year……on the other side of the world in the cold, cruel mountains of one of the most dangerous places in the world right now……Afghanistan. We’ve all heard “Iraq, Iraq’ for several years now. After understanding the difference in the two places, I honestly never thought I would wish my husband were going to Iraq, instead. This brief also told the families the route and procedure for our soldiers’ departure, how we could communicate with them while they are gone, and when they could come home for 15 days of Rest and Relaxation. As I sat through the second meeting last night, with Mike, we were told of all the resources we would have for our children, since we’d be ‘single parents’ for a year. Financial resources, community services….etc. We will truly be taken care of, if we allow ourselves to be. We were also advised to get our budgets together, wills, Powers of Attorney, life insurance, all of which I knew….just hitting home, now. The girl sitting next to me told me this was the 3rd deployment she’d been through. I thought to myself, “ Wow, you’ve actually sat here and lived this more than once?” Once again, I know with anything, once you’ve done it once, it’s a little easier the next time. I also know I’m not the only woman in the world who this has happened to, but I’m also ME, and I deal with things differently, I guess.
A few days later, the packing list came home. Now, I’ve been talking with some other wives, so I knew about what they had to buy, etc. I tackled the list with zeal, buying him 2 of everything listed, so he would have a good supply for a while, until he figured out what the PX had there….I aspired to be “Super Army Packing Wife.” What I didn’t know was how I would feel when he unloaded the gear…..the extreme cold weather polar fleece long underwear, knit tops with ACU (Army Combat Uniform) sleeves, kevlar gloves, things I’d never seen before and some, I had no idea what they would do with. However, this was clothing and gear for some seriously dangerous terrain, weather and situations. As I carefully swished the kevlar gloves in a sink full of detergent and water, as they had to be hand washed, I couldn’t help but think of my husband’s beautiful hands having to be inside gloves that were made of bullet/fragment-deflecting material. The huge, puffy gray ‘snowsuit’ I called it, was so thick I joked that he couldn’t fit inside the cockpit if he flew wearing it. But inside, I couldn’t help but think of the high altitude and how incredibly cold it must be there for him to have to wear it.
Then, there’s that damned “tuff box.” It’s a huge box that they pack their sheets, towels, books, anything they want shipped over early. He bought the box last night, and packed all the things I’d washed for him. He closed it, locked it and set it in our foyer so he could take it this morning to go on the boat. I, of course, was up several times during the night, either with the baby or just couldn’t sleep. Each time I walked past the box, it ‘stared’ at me, seemed to be taunting me, sticking out it’s figurative tongue and mocking me with feelings of doom and loneliness. How could an inanimate object ‘speak’ to you like that? And, no, this time I hadn’t had too much wine….I just answered that question on my own. When one has an active imagination like myself……My father always said I “conjured things in my mind”…I think he’s right.
I have so many things to ask my husband, we have so many things to attend to, the ‘business’ of deployment, if you will. I left the briefing last night with a million things on my mind. My husband is an intelligent, responsible man, who cares greatly about the well-being of his family, and we plan to carve out some time to deal with all these things, but until they are dealt with, my mind will continue to whir in overdrive…..listen closely, can you hear it?
Disclaimer: For anyone reading this who knows me well, or is in my same situation: Yes, I fear for the worst, yes, I’m a drama queen, yes, I make mountains out of molehills, and yes, I know these things about myself. However, writing is my therap, my optimum way of expressing myself: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the over-dramatized. And so I begin…
Preparation:
A wise, beautiful woman, who is 5 months ahead of me in this particular journey, and so incredibly dear to me once said, “This will go by faster than you think. The worst part is the ‘getting ready for it.’ “ God, I hope Maggie Brown is right……
My husband and I have been married for over 2 years now. I have known about this deployment, or the possibility for it, for that long. We spent 2 years at Fort Rucker, home of Army Aviation, he completing flight school there, me working, giving birth to our first child, and knowing all the while in the back of my mind that these days were coming.
Now that we are settled in our beautiful new home in Savannah, Georgia, the clock ticks loudly in my ear. The “Big Ben” countdown to the dreaded…….’Deployment.’ Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah was our first choice, obviously because both sets of parents live in Georgia and it would be “the best thing for me while he’s gone.” We are overjoyed to be here. There is also the opportunity here for me to go back to school and get a second degree. I already know a few people here, too. I’m worlds ahead of many wives who are here, as far as friends, family and knowing my way around. All these things are great, but “While he’s gone” is still the shadow, the operative phrase, here. Seasoned Army wives deal with this much better than me, I’m sure. I’m a strong type-A person, I know what I want in life, I have to stay busy and stressed out to function properly….so is my nature, with or without my husband deployed. However, this is new and scary, and no matter how independent I am, and how determined I am, my emotions still get the best of me sometimes……hence, I write. I discovered this quirky trait/talent about myself at age 8 and have been writing when emotions strike me ever since. I am 34 years old now.
When we first arrived here, Mike was on leave so he was home with us, unpacking, hanging pictures, getting settled. He’s been signed in at Hunter for about 5 weeks now. A couple weeks ago, I went to my first ever Family Deployment Briefing. Mike stayed home with the baby. I watched the typical government power point presentation, however, this one began to hit home. These weren’t slides about plans for preparation of a 4th of July Fireworks event, which I worked with in my former government job, these were slides of what my husband’s home would look like for one year……on the other side of the world in the cold, cruel mountains of one of the most dangerous places in the world right now……Afghanistan. We’ve all heard “Iraq, Iraq’ for several years now. After understanding the difference in the two places, I honestly never thought I would wish my husband were going to Iraq, instead. This brief also told the families the route and procedure for our soldiers’ departure, how we could communicate with them while they are gone, and when they could come home for 15 days of Rest and Relaxation. As I sat through the second meeting last night, with Mike, we were told of all the resources we would have for our children, since we’d be ‘single parents’ for a year. Financial resources, community services….etc. We will truly be taken care of, if we allow ourselves to be. We were also advised to get our budgets together, wills, Powers of Attorney, life insurance, all of which I knew….just hitting home, now. The girl sitting next to me told me this was the 3rd deployment she’d been through. I thought to myself, “ Wow, you’ve actually sat here and lived this more than once?” Once again, I know with anything, once you’ve done it once, it’s a little easier the next time. I also know I’m not the only woman in the world who this has happened to, but I’m also ME, and I deal with things differently, I guess.
A few days later, the packing list came home. Now, I’ve been talking with some other wives, so I knew about what they had to buy, etc. I tackled the list with zeal, buying him 2 of everything listed, so he would have a good supply for a while, until he figured out what the PX had there….I aspired to be “Super Army Packing Wife.” What I didn’t know was how I would feel when he unloaded the gear…..the extreme cold weather polar fleece long underwear, knit tops with ACU (Army Combat Uniform) sleeves, kevlar gloves, things I’d never seen before and some, I had no idea what they would do with. However, this was clothing and gear for some seriously dangerous terrain, weather and situations. As I carefully swished the kevlar gloves in a sink full of detergent and water, as they had to be hand washed, I couldn’t help but think of my husband’s beautiful hands having to be inside gloves that were made of bullet/fragment-deflecting material. The huge, puffy gray ‘snowsuit’ I called it, was so thick I joked that he couldn’t fit inside the cockpit if he flew wearing it. But inside, I couldn’t help but think of the high altitude and how incredibly cold it must be there for him to have to wear it.
Then, there’s that damned “tuff box.” It’s a huge box that they pack their sheets, towels, books, anything they want shipped over early. He bought the box last night, and packed all the things I’d washed for him. He closed it, locked it and set it in our foyer so he could take it this morning to go on the boat. I, of course, was up several times during the night, either with the baby or just couldn’t sleep. Each time I walked past the box, it ‘stared’ at me, seemed to be taunting me, sticking out it’s figurative tongue and mocking me with feelings of doom and loneliness. How could an inanimate object ‘speak’ to you like that? And, no, this time I hadn’t had too much wine….I just answered that question on my own. When one has an active imagination like myself……My father always said I “conjured things in my mind”…I think he’s right.
I have so many things to ask my husband, we have so many things to attend to, the ‘business’ of deployment, if you will. I left the briefing last night with a million things on my mind. My husband is an intelligent, responsible man, who cares greatly about the well-being of his family, and we plan to carve out some time to deal with all these things, but until they are dealt with, my mind will continue to whir in overdrive…..listen closely, can you hear it?
The tree
Tales from an Army wife’s first deployment….Installation 2
Continuing Preparation----A much more light-hearted entry…..
In my quest to be “Super Army Wife,” I’ve taken on a daunting project….Normally it disgusts me to see how early the stores put out Christmas, yes CHRISTMAS, not holiday, decorations. This year, however, I am foaming at the mouth for them to get out, as I have decided to decorate our new home for Christmas for Mike before he leaves in mid-November. No, no one asked for me to do this, sometimes my ambition ends up getting the best of me. (If you ask my mother, I get that attribute from my father) Nevertheless, my plan is simple. A new, taller tree, to go with our new, taller ceiling. A new color scheme, balls, ribbon, tree topper, etc all in the very “in the now” blue and brown theme. (Or, in this case, dark teal and bronze) That will also involve new wreath trimmings, some new mantle décor, now that we have a mantle, and some other odds and ends throughout the house. Like I said, very simple….yes, I hear the laughter, too, not to worry.
So far, I’ve called a Christmas tree farmer, who, when I explained my situation, was more than happy to open early just for me to come get a tree. I’ve begun scouring my favorite stores, Kirklands, Homegoods, TJMaxx, all of who are slowly beginning to trickle in their décor for Christmas.
A slightly easier task…..last year, I came up with an idea. My husband is one of the worlds’ biggest Star Wars geeks. He doesn’t dress up or anything, but he knows every line in every movie, and you can even choose a track on any soundtrack from any movie and not only does he know which movie it’s from, he can begin reciting that particular scene, right then and there. This makes for interesting long car trips, and he can beat the pants off anyone in a game of Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. I decided to commemorate his love of all things Star Wars, by making his very own Star Wars Christmas tree. He’s collected several ornaments over time and displays them proudly with his Star Wars posters in his home office. Last year after Christmas, I went to Walmart and bought a 4 foot, white pre-lit tree for $10. Done. I have the ornaments, and it’s already lit, so the last thing I needed was a topper. While at Party City looking for Halloween invitations, and, yes, I DID scour to see what they had in for Christmas, I found a Darth Vader mask for $4.99. Some black wired ribbon from Walmart, and Boom! Instant tree. Yeah…..
The baby is finally asleep, now I can “use the Force” and get on with this project….I figure, it’s a while before Christmas, but these guys are black and scary, so this could easily serve as a Halloween decoration of sorts, as well as enable Mike to enjoy his tree before he leaves. So, I climbed up into the attic to retrieve said tree. Man it was hot up there! I joyfully descended the ladder, closed up and headed for the kitchen to get the rest of my supplies. I bought some floral wire to attach the mask and in case I needed to make hooks for the ornaments. Scissors in hand, I headed in to his office and placed the tree on top of his file cabinet. Obviously, some “little” people would LOVE to get their hands on Darth Vader’s face and I really didn’t want baby slobber on my handiwork, so up high was definitely the way to go. I plugged in the lights to make sure they worked, and voila, the illuminated slate was ready to be filled! First things first, the mask on the top! Wait! Where is my wire? As most of you who have small children know, while they are napping, time is of the essence, so I became frantic when I couldn’t remember where I’d set the wire down. I ran from room to room. I even looked in the garage, thinking maybe I’d laid it down before opening the attic. No sign of it. I even climbed back up into the hot abyss, that is the attic. Was it there? NO! AAAhh!!! The baby could wake at any moment, and where in the hell is that wire???? I quickly opened the pantry and downed a handful of Halloween colored M &Ms, as if somehow, the chocolate would restore my memory. Then, while chomping down on the chocolatey goodness, that I pray my 8 mile run tomorrow will burn off, I noticed the Walmart bag filled with my daughter’s new socks and pants. Aha! I never took the wire out of the shopping bag! Maybe chocolate does restore memory…..I raced on…..
Next, I cut the black ribbon into three pieces and carefully tucked them in to the sides of the tree branches. Time for the ornaments. I guess you could call this a “Mike’s favorite things” tree. Albeit mostly Star Wars, there’s a random Godzilla, and also a University of Florida football player ornament, all things he loves. Done! As I stand back, I notice I should move the ornaments around, a bit, just so they are even. Note to self: Never step into a swivel office chair to fix a Christmas tree. I accidentally spun around, on one foot, mind you, in this chair. Fortunately, I grabbed the bookshelf and kept myself from falling. Meanwhile, Sasha, the dog, who’d been following me around this whole time just stared up at me blankly. She wasn’t even worried. I wasn’t so much concerned about getting hurt, but I knew that if I did fall, the crash would wake the baby sleeping across the hall. Whew ! Good save! So, Darth and Godzilla are looking a bit too symmetrical…..Darth needs to scoot down a bit.
Me:”Okay, Darth. Sorry buddy, but were gonna have to scooch you down a bit…”
Darth: Breathing through his helmet, “Argh! But I have the force!”
Me:”That’s great, honey, but I’m going to have to FORCE your ass down a couple branches so this will look right.”
There! No more out of Darth, and the tree looks perfect! Now to wait for Mike to get home..
Continuing Preparation----A much more light-hearted entry…..
In my quest to be “Super Army Wife,” I’ve taken on a daunting project….Normally it disgusts me to see how early the stores put out Christmas, yes CHRISTMAS, not holiday, decorations. This year, however, I am foaming at the mouth for them to get out, as I have decided to decorate our new home for Christmas for Mike before he leaves in mid-November. No, no one asked for me to do this, sometimes my ambition ends up getting the best of me. (If you ask my mother, I get that attribute from my father) Nevertheless, my plan is simple. A new, taller tree, to go with our new, taller ceiling. A new color scheme, balls, ribbon, tree topper, etc all in the very “in the now” blue and brown theme. (Or, in this case, dark teal and bronze) That will also involve new wreath trimmings, some new mantle décor, now that we have a mantle, and some other odds and ends throughout the house. Like I said, very simple….yes, I hear the laughter, too, not to worry.
So far, I’ve called a Christmas tree farmer, who, when I explained my situation, was more than happy to open early just for me to come get a tree. I’ve begun scouring my favorite stores, Kirklands, Homegoods, TJMaxx, all of who are slowly beginning to trickle in their décor for Christmas.
A slightly easier task…..last year, I came up with an idea. My husband is one of the worlds’ biggest Star Wars geeks. He doesn’t dress up or anything, but he knows every line in every movie, and you can even choose a track on any soundtrack from any movie and not only does he know which movie it’s from, he can begin reciting that particular scene, right then and there. This makes for interesting long car trips, and he can beat the pants off anyone in a game of Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. I decided to commemorate his love of all things Star Wars, by making his very own Star Wars Christmas tree. He’s collected several ornaments over time and displays them proudly with his Star Wars posters in his home office. Last year after Christmas, I went to Walmart and bought a 4 foot, white pre-lit tree for $10. Done. I have the ornaments, and it’s already lit, so the last thing I needed was a topper. While at Party City looking for Halloween invitations, and, yes, I DID scour to see what they had in for Christmas, I found a Darth Vader mask for $4.99. Some black wired ribbon from Walmart, and Boom! Instant tree. Yeah…..
The baby is finally asleep, now I can “use the Force” and get on with this project….I figure, it’s a while before Christmas, but these guys are black and scary, so this could easily serve as a Halloween decoration of sorts, as well as enable Mike to enjoy his tree before he leaves. So, I climbed up into the attic to retrieve said tree. Man it was hot up there! I joyfully descended the ladder, closed up and headed for the kitchen to get the rest of my supplies. I bought some floral wire to attach the mask and in case I needed to make hooks for the ornaments. Scissors in hand, I headed in to his office and placed the tree on top of his file cabinet. Obviously, some “little” people would LOVE to get their hands on Darth Vader’s face and I really didn’t want baby slobber on my handiwork, so up high was definitely the way to go. I plugged in the lights to make sure they worked, and voila, the illuminated slate was ready to be filled! First things first, the mask on the top! Wait! Where is my wire? As most of you who have small children know, while they are napping, time is of the essence, so I became frantic when I couldn’t remember where I’d set the wire down. I ran from room to room. I even looked in the garage, thinking maybe I’d laid it down before opening the attic. No sign of it. I even climbed back up into the hot abyss, that is the attic. Was it there? NO! AAAhh!!! The baby could wake at any moment, and where in the hell is that wire???? I quickly opened the pantry and downed a handful of Halloween colored M &Ms, as if somehow, the chocolate would restore my memory. Then, while chomping down on the chocolatey goodness, that I pray my 8 mile run tomorrow will burn off, I noticed the Walmart bag filled with my daughter’s new socks and pants. Aha! I never took the wire out of the shopping bag! Maybe chocolate does restore memory…..I raced on…..
Next, I cut the black ribbon into three pieces and carefully tucked them in to the sides of the tree branches. Time for the ornaments. I guess you could call this a “Mike’s favorite things” tree. Albeit mostly Star Wars, there’s a random Godzilla, and also a University of Florida football player ornament, all things he loves. Done! As I stand back, I notice I should move the ornaments around, a bit, just so they are even. Note to self: Never step into a swivel office chair to fix a Christmas tree. I accidentally spun around, on one foot, mind you, in this chair. Fortunately, I grabbed the bookshelf and kept myself from falling. Meanwhile, Sasha, the dog, who’d been following me around this whole time just stared up at me blankly. She wasn’t even worried. I wasn’t so much concerned about getting hurt, but I knew that if I did fall, the crash would wake the baby sleeping across the hall. Whew ! Good save! So, Darth and Godzilla are looking a bit too symmetrical…..Darth needs to scoot down a bit.
Me:”Okay, Darth. Sorry buddy, but were gonna have to scooch you down a bit…”
Darth: Breathing through his helmet, “Argh! But I have the force!”
Me:”That’s great, honey, but I’m going to have to FORCE your ass down a couple branches so this will look right.”
There! No more out of Darth, and the tree looks perfect! Now to wait for Mike to get home..
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